Hollow
by AaronEmilyLove2005
Summary: Aaron and Emily have it all, just in time to have it taken away.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys :-) This is probably my shortest story ever lol. I want everyone to know that I thought about a sequel but decided that this one is complete. I don't mean to leave people hanging but this story is realistic to me as far as Hotch and Prentiss actually ever having a relationship. Let me know what you think. Please leave reveiws. Writers on this site can see how many people read these stories. I don't mean to sound harsh but some people spend thirty minutes up to an hour or so reading a story but can't take 2 minutes to leave a reveiw. I want to say thank you to those who do reveiw. :-) The writers need feedback and any feedback is very much appreciated. Thank you! :-)

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go." Hermann Hesse

"You wanted to see me before I left?" Emily asked in a respectful tone, which changed somewhat when she saw Hotch standing behind his desk with the top two buttons of his dress shirt unbuttoned. His tie hung around his neck, the material laying on each side of his broad chest. This was an unusual appearance for Hotch at the office.

"Yes...come in." He made his way around the desk, closed the blinds and walked to the door.

Emily, still facing the desk, turned around quickly when she heard the door shut and lock. Hotch closing the door was nothing unusal, but locking it was odd.

"What's going on Hotch?" She watch him move toward her slowly, his eyes never leaving hers.

"I need to talk to you." His voice was almost a whisper but still had that husky sound she loved. He moved to stand directly in front of her, hesitating before he spoke.

"We can't do this anymore" he rushed out, knowing his words would hurt her. "I can't do this anymore...to you." He confessed, remembering the pain in her eyes every time he or she left the others' apartment after hours of "fucking " as Hotch called it. He wanted to make love to Emily and in the past three months, he _had _made love to her, no matter what he chose to call it to separate himself from the pain. They agreed from the beginning that a physical relationship was all they could have and nothing more though both knew they wanted more.

Emily's breath was drawn from her chest in an instant. She loved him. She was in love with him and she had told him exactly that the night before as he moved himself in and out of her body slowly. Though Hotch didn't repeat those words back to her, her words consumed him.

"Why?" She finally released, feeling her heart ache and not being able to hide the emotion flowing from her voice. She stood her ground though, knowing that she could handle this. That she had to handle this. Hotch had always told her from the beginning that this was all he could give her. What Emily didn't know was that Hotch had gone to Strauss.

Strauss made no hesitation to give the agents permission to have a relationship but unfortunately, it would be all three of their asses in a sling if the director ever found out. Strauss spoke to the director and assured him the two agents would keep the relationship out of the office and the field. It wasn't enough for the director.

"Emily...I went to Strauss" he told her, watching her mouth open in astonishment.

"You what?!" she almost yelled.

Giving her the glare he was known well for, Hotch spoke quickly.

"Keep your voice down Emily." he warned as he reached out to her and physically moved her toward the small couch on the other side of the room. "Sit down...please."

Emily sat down to face him. "Be straight with me Aaron."

"I went to Strauss. Don't worry, she was very understanding." he assured her.

"Understanding? " she repeated his words but with more of a sarcastic tone and a laugh as she rose from her seat.

Hotch copied her movements and stood in front of her, grabbing her arm as she began to paste the floor. "Emily sit down." he spoke more firmly.

Jerking her arm from his grip, she began the panic that he knew she would. "No...let go of me! How could you do that without even discussing it with me?"

"I wanted to..." he began.

"You wanted a way out? Why don't you just say it Aaron? You got what you wanted and now you're finished with..." she began.

"Emily...no" His blood was pumping through his veins at a high rqte of speed and his heart was pounding. "It's not like that."

"Really?" Emily said as she walked around the room, a million thoughts flooding her mind. "Well why don't you tell me how it is?"

"I'm trying to Em...Emily, if you'll just calm down." he pleaded.

Emily stood in silence waiting for what she was sure was an amazing explanation of him not including her in this decision. "Okay...go ahead."

"All I told Strauss was that I wanted permission to see you outside of work. I told her we would keep it strictly professional. I didn't tell her anything else.", he said as Emily began to calm down. "But...she informed me that this had to go through the director as well."

"And?" she asked, waiting.

"And he said absolutely not" he said, letting Emily hear the frustration in his voice. "He said he wouldn't even give it a chance. He said he had been given this promise from agents before and that it would not be something he would even consider." he said as Emily's whole demeanor changed into one Hotch had never seen before. "He said we have to end any type of relationship that there was outside of this office or any relationship we planned on having. I think we're lucky he didn't ax us for my asking."

"I see" she said simply as she hung her head. "Okay...well I guess that it's then."

"Emily..." He grabbed her by the wrist as she walked toward the door. "Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you." She turned back to face him, stunned at his words. "Don't do this."

"Don't do what Aaron? Feel these feelings?" she added harshly, shooting the innocent Unit Chief straight in the heart as she pulled away from him once more. He believed those three words from her and he took note of the pain that graced her face every time they said goodbye. She may have thought that she was good at hiding the pain but Hotch's profiling skills saw right through her.

"No...don't patronize me. I went to Strauss because of your feelings and because...because I feel the same way about you." He moved closer to her and took her face in his hands, rubbing her cheek lightly with his thumb. "I want you to know...I love you too Emily." Emily's heart jumped for joy at the same time it broke into a million pieces.

"But?" She questioned him quickly as her eyes filled with tears.

He lowered his gaze from hers to the floor, then finally back to those beautiful brown eyes. "But...we have to end this before..." he trailed off when Emily finished his sentence for him.

"Before we take a risk and maybe have something in life that we never expected? Something we both need? You know? Like real people have?" She lashed out.

"Emily, don't act like I don't know the damper this job puts on relationships and how it makes it almost impossible to have a normal social life." he threw back at her.

"I know...I know Aaron. I'm sorry" she said, shaking her head. "It's just so unfair."

"I know." The pain in her eyes was killing him. He pulled her into his arms as the tears came again, this time for both of them. All he wanted in the beginning was any time he could get with her; to laugh with her and really talk to her and yes, share his bed with her. He had kept his true feelings to himself, not wanting to lead her on but after he heard her confess her love for him, he wanted it all. "I'm so sorry. We have to let go." he said softly as his hand stroked her hair.

Emily broke their embrace and never felt such a loss in her life. Hotch wiped his tears and Emily knew that his words were genuine. She wondered if the pain she felt now would be less if she didn't know that he felt the same.

"I don't want to." she told him as she wiped her own tears.

"Neither do I." He hesitated before speaking further. "I never should have kissed you that night." he told her as he turned away, pacing the floor, kicking himself mentally.

"You regret it? "she asked in a hurtful tone.

Hotch hurried back to her, grabbing her hand. "No. Never Emily. I don't regret one moment that we've spent together. Don't you ever think that. Do you understand me? "

"Yes...I understand" she said simply. "I...I have to go. I'm sorry. I _have_ to get out of here."

"I understand." he assured her, reluctantly letting go of her hand as she made her final move to the door.

"Emily..." He said breathlessly as he heard the lock being released.

Emily didn't speak, she just turned around to see the same look in his eyes as she did a few moments earlier. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped the words that he knew would cause them both even more pain.

"I know. Me too." she said, her voice breaking. As she opened the door, she was greeted by Rossi with his fist in the air preparing to knock.

"Well...if it isn't the prettiest FBI agent in the bureau. I hope I'm not interrupting anything." he said, looking at both agents as Emily made her way through the doorway, giving Rossi the best smile she could.

"No...we're done here." she said in a somewhat cold tone, gazing over Rossi's shoulder at Hotch. The pain was unbearable. Did they both actually believe their love could magically change the rules? She stared into his eyes until he couldn't handle the pain and looked away. "I've got a bottle of tequila calling my name. I'll see you both Monday." she said, trying her best to project an excited tone but Hotch knew better. Emily made her way down the steps to the bullpen, grabbed her things at her desk and made her way toward the elevator.

Hotch opened the blinds and watched her walk away, feeling hollow, as Rossi took a seat on the small sofa.

"So what's going on? Everything alright Aaron?" Rossi asked innocently when Hotch turned to face him.

"No, actually." he said, his voice breaking. "I just let the 'prettiest FBI agent in the bureau' walk out that door."

Please reveiw! Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hi :-) I decided to go on a little further with this one but it will probably be 4 chapters at the most. Thank you for your reveiws. I love Hotch /Rossi conversations. ;-) Also, thank you to rmpcmfan for one of the best lines ever that holds so much truth! (I hope you don't mind that I used it in the story.)

_Ending of Ch. 1 _

_"So what's going on? Everything alright Aaron?" Rossi asked innocently when Hotch turned to face him._

_"No, actually." he said, his voice breaking. "I just let the prettiest FBI agent in the bureau walk out that door."_

Hotch turned back to face the blinds, watching as Emily forcefully pushed her way through the BAU doors.

"I knew it" Rossi exclaimed softly as Hotch turned to face him. "I knew there was something between you two. Everyone knows it." he told him, watching the surprise on his face. "Oh come on Aaron, you didn't think you could fool an elite group of profilers did you?" He said with a grin.

"I guess we were fooling ourselves too" he replied, sitting down in the chair across from Rossi.

"So what's the problem?" the senior agent asked.

Hotch sighed. "I went to Erin about our relationship and asked for the approval to carry on a personal relationship with Emily. She gave her approval but the director won't hear of it."

"So we just keep it between all of us" he said.

"Dave, she deserves better than that. She doesn't deserve to be hidden. If you want to have relationships of that type, that's your buisness but I can't do it, especially with Emily" he added.

"Okay then..." Dave began, pushing himself up from the couch. "...if this is too hard for you and it's something you're not going to be able to let go of, then it's time for you to realize what I've been trying to tell you for a long time" he said. "You work to live Aaron, not live to work. There's a fine line between the two for some people and let me tell you from experience, once again... it's not worth it Aaron. And you know it."

"What are you saying Dave?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"I'm saying work it out. Whatever it takes. Don't sit around here feeling sorry for yourself, or her. Instead, fix it" he said simply.

"I can't ask her to leave her job Dave."

"I know you don't want to ask her to and I'm sure she doesn't want to. Who says it has to be her? You're so damn stubborn Aaron" he said, seeing Hotch become more irritated. "I know you love this job, and I get it. I came back myself" he reminded him. "But don't you think for one minute if I could have Carolyn back that I wouldn't give it all up for her."

Hotch sat there silently, his thoughts in every direction. He knew Emily wouldn't want him to leave his job either but if they were going to have a chance at anything, it was apparent that one of them was going to have to change a big part of their life.

"We're going to have the same feelings on the thoughts of one of us leaving, so I don't see how it can work" he told him, now standing and pacing the floor.

"Maybe just a transfer within these walls would do it. You don't know until you try" he said as Hotch remembered those same exact words that he spoke to Gideon about his son years ago.

Sighing again, he continued to walk around the room with his hands in his pockets.

"I'll talk to her. You're right. I never thought I'd give a thought to being transferred and leaving this position but it's different with Emily. God..." he said frustratingly. "...I just want it all with her."

"Then go get her Aaron. Talk. Not fight. Talk" he told him, giving him the feeling that he knew something about their relationship that he had kept to himself.

"What makes you think we would fight?" he asked.

Rossi sat silently for a moment. "I came over one night with a bottle of Jack after the tough time Morgan was giving you when Emily came out of hiding. Before I knocked, I heard the two of you inside your apartment fighting" he said, capturing Hotch's full attention.

"You heard what we were fighting about?" he asked.

"Yes...yes I did" he said as Hotch rolled his eyes and bit his bottom lip. "You've been seeing her since before Doyle haven't you?" he asked cautiously.

Hotch moved closer to the couch. "Yeah...I have" he said, pausing as he looked at Dave. "It was just sex. That's was all it was ever supposed to be and then he took her and hurt her physically and emotionally" he said as the words choked him. "I was mad at her. She could have told me and we could have helped her. I guess since Doyle was dead and I couldn't take out my anger on him, I guess I turned it onto her."

"So you realized how you felt about her after she was nearly killed?" he asked.

"Yes" he answered in a whisper.

"Then don't let it take something like that again to give you that push to do this. The next time it may be too late" he told him honestly.

Hotch nodded his head and said nothing. He didn't know how to do this but he knew that Rossi's words of wisdom were the truth. He couldn't let her get away, not without giving it everything he had. He just wasn't sure what Emily would be willing to give up for him. He believed her proclamation of her love for him was true, but he wasn't sure she would be willing to do something like this.

"Thank you Dave. I'll talk to her" he said, walking to his desk. Rossi watched as he grabbed a file and a pen and began finishing his work. He walked over to the desk, took the pen from his hand, and laid it harshly on the desk.

"Now Aaron" he said simply but authoritavly. Looking up at him, Hotch was shocked at his actions. "She's at home right now, drowning her sorrows because she thinks the worst. Go." he pressed before turning and walking out of the office.

Thirty minutes later, Hotch pulled up to Emily's apartment and sat there for ten more minutes trying to find the words he'd say when he saw her. Sitting there and thinking about what it would be like to take on a different job, or carry on with his current job without her there with him, it didn't feel near as bad as never being able to hold her, laugh with her and sleep next to her.

Emily was kicking back her fifth shot of tequila when she heard a knock on her door. She knew it was him just by the way he'd tapped on the door. She walked to the door, more or less, and opened the door to find Hotch standing there. He had obviously left his tie and suit jacket in the car and had rolled up hos shirt sleeves. Emily loved seeing him relaxed like that, but right now his presence was very hard on her. Standing there in the doorway, he begged her with his eyes to let him in the apartment.

"Aaron...don't make this harder please. Just go." she said, putting her mouth over her hand as the tears came to her eyes. "Please" she added, her one word request muffled by her hand.

"No. I'm not going anywhere until we can talk" he informed her with his kind but stern tone.

"There's nothing to talk about Aaron. I'm going away." she said simply, watching his face turn to shock.


	3. Chapter 3

_Ending of Chapter 3_

_"Aaron...don't make this harder please. Just go." she said, putting her mouth over her hand as the tears came to her eyes. "Please" she added, her one word request muffled by her hand._

_"No. I'm not going anywhere until we can talk" he informed her with his kind but stern tone._

_"There's nothing to talk about Aaron. I'm going away." she said simply, watching his face turn to shock._

"What!?" he said rather loudly.

Looking at him, pleading with her eyes, she begged. "Please go. I'll talk to you later when..."

"No. I wanna know what you're talking about Emily. Going where?" he asked, pushing harder.

She could hear the change of his voice and knew that he hated this idea as much as she did though she knew it was best. She also knew that he wasn't going to give up and honestly didn't feel like she could stand at the door much longer. Moving to the side of the foyer, she stood there silently as he walked in. She followed him into the living room, letting the door shut abruptly.

Hotch sat down on the couch and Emily sat at the opposite end, facing him. She bent her knees and put her socked feet on the couch cushion, close to her body. He looked at her, saying nothing for a moment as his eyes roamed over the tequila bottle and shot glass on the coffee table.

"I needed it" she said, knowing he was profiling her.

"It's your home Emily. I was just concerned. What do you mean you're leaving?" he asked.

She sniffled again, still crying, trying to hold back the tears. "I've been offered a job and I'm going to take it"

"Where?" His heart pounded in his chest as she answered, reluctantly.

"Clyde called me. He offered me a job in..." she said when he intervened, not wanting to hear her say it.

"No!" he said, raising his voice unintentionally. "I'm sorry" he said taking a second to calm himself. "Why Emily? Why would you leave here?"

"Aaron, I can't stay. The bureau isn't going to give us their approval and I can't work with you everyday. Not now. I guess when we were hiding it, I felt like there may always be a chance. I knew it was supposed to be sex only. You knew it too but here we are; both in love with each other but can't show it...and live it, and just be happy. It's a great job Aaron. I'd have my own team. You know I've always wanted that one day. I feel that it's for the best." she said as he lowered his head, his gaze moving to the floor. "I will miss you. Terribly miss you but with our situation and me knowing how it's going to be, I can't stay."

Hotch listened to her words as they cut him like a knife. She wanted to go and he didn't feel like he had the right to make her stay here and work at some job somewhere else that she wouldn't be happy with. He knew that having her own team wouldn't only make her happy; it was her dream. He had never wanted to leave the BAU for anything or anyone but Emily altered his thoughts. He would do anything for her. Even let her go. He knew without a doubt that she would never want him to leave his position with the bureau. They all knew Hotch was the glue that held the team together so that they could do the best job possible. He knew there was no point in bringing up his and Rossi's conversation. How could he tell her not to go for it? Though he would, he didn't want to leave his team, so he felt that he shouldn't keep her from her chance to have what she had worked so hard for. Deciding to discard the dicussion, he finally spoke.

"You've given this alot of thought haven't you?" he asked, feeling sick to his stomach when she nodded her head. "When did he call you?"

"A week ago" she said, reaching to the coffee table to pour a shot of tequila. He watched her pick up the bottle as her hand began to shake.

"Emily..." he said, reaching to her hand, taking the bottle from it and sitting it down on the table. He moved closer to her and put his hands on her face, wiping her tears that rolled down her cheeks. "Please don't cry" he said, wrapping his arms around her as she cried harder. Tears came to his eyes and he just held onto her tight, knowing it would probably be the last time.

"I have to do this" she whispered as he released his arms from her.

"I know" he said, kissing her tears, then looking in her eyes. "I know. And I want you to be happy and if it takes me letting you go, I have to do that. Just please...please make sure."

"I'm sure Aaron. I didn't know how things would end up with us or even if there really was an us, and then this happened." She raised her hands to his face. "I don't regret telling you that I love you and your same words made me feel more love in my life than I've ever had or felt like I deserved. But..." she continued as he ran his hand over her hair.

"But this is your dream" he said.

"Yes... but so are you" she expressed firmly as his heart ached.

"Emily...I can't make you stay but I can't exactly cheer you on and get excited either" he said with an apologetic look. "I can be supportive though. And I can be happy for you" he told her.

"It's gonna be so hard" she replied, her voice breaking.

"It will" he said as the thought of just how far away she would be filled his mind. He didn't want to let go. He wanted her. He wanted any time he could have with her but he wouldn't dare let his selfishness put her through such turmoil with just monthly visits, if that. Like he had told Rossi, she deserves better. "But we will make it Em" he told her trying his best to seem outwardly strong, knowing he was falling apart inside.

All she could do was nod her head slowly. He supported himself on the couch cushion, keeping his hands to himself as he leaned closer to her. Just before he brought his lips to hers, he heard her moan, causing him to crave her more. He kissed her passionately with everything he had. She raised her hands to his hair, running her fingers through it prompting him to grip her hips tightly. The kiss was full of love, arousal and pain. Tears ran down her face as he continued to invade her mouth with his tongue. He leaned further over her, forcing her back to the couch gently. He stopped kissing her long enough to look into her dark brown eyes.

"Once more Emily" he said as his hand ran over her firm belly, his rough fingers touching her soft skin as her shirt lifted slightly.

The pain was overwhelming for both of them but the pleasure had overruled.

"Yes" she replied with a quiver in her voice. "I love you" she said, looking up at him as he pressed his hardness against her.

"I love you too Emily" he said, then moving his mouth close to her ear. "Always."


End file.
